Tips for Repairing Your Broken Relationship

Written By Alla Levin
November 02, 2020
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6 Tips for Repairing Broken Relationship

Struggling to piece a broken relationship back together? Whether you’ve lost trust or lost that spark, feeling disconnected from someone you love can be devastating. Of course, that doesn’t mean that you can’t get your relationship to a healthy and fulfilling place again if you’re willing to put in the work.

If both you and your partner are committed to the relationship repair process, you’ll need to be willing to change your behavior.

The best way of doing so is by incorporating these essential tips into your current dynamic:

Learn to De-Escalate

Stopping conversations from turning into arguments is an essential aspect of repairing your relationship. You’ll never be able to make progress if you both hold back your feelings out of fear of upsetting each other.

To keep discussions about your relationship from escalating into fights, always be empathetic, don’t interrupt, and be willing to accept and give criticism without becoming defensive. You can also try using humor to keep things light, so long as it’s appropriate and not at your partner’s expense.

Repairing Broken Relationship: Spend Time Together

If all your time together is spent talking about issues in your relationship, you’re bound to lose sight of what you loved about the relationship in the first place. That’s why you should make the effort to spend time together in a way that’s deliberate and focused on things you both enjoy.

This includes fun and fulfilling activities like hiking, watching movies, playing board games, or anything else you share an interest in. This will help you strengthen your friendship, which will then provide a better foundation for your overall relationship.

Find Closure or Move On From Past Issues

Bringing up issues from two or three years ago in the middle of a difficult conversation is not helpful. As tempting as it may be to reference past mistakes to win an argument, all it does is derail your conversation and escalate the situation.

If you and your partner have already discussed this past issue at length and resolved it, it’s better to move on and not bring it up needlessly. If you’re instead bringing up this issue because it’s unresolved and you don’t have any closure from it, then it’s better to have a separate conversation about it. That way, you can fully address this past issue without distracting from the current one.

Be Patient and Forgiving

It’s going to take longer than a few weeks to repair a relationship and change bad habits or behaviors. That being the case, you should both try to be patient with each other and yourselves.

If you expect this process to be short, straightforward, and without any road bumps, you’re sure to be disappointed. Rebuilding trust and/or reestablishing an emotional connection can be difficult, and it’s normal to make mistakes and face minor setbacks along the way. That’s why you should try your best to be open, forgiving, and patient throughout.

Work as a Team

When we feel hurt, it can be tempting to shut down and retreat into ourselves. However, doing so will only make it more difficult for you and your partner to work as a team. You should be turning towards each other during hard times, not away.

Actively trying to work as a team can manifest in different ways, including holding hands, listening intently, and laughing at jokes. In the end, it’s really about making an effort towards establishing intimacy and an emotional connection, rather than trying to win arguments or shift blame.

Express Genuine GratitudeRepairing Broken Relationship

Loving someone and having that person love you back is an incredible thing, even during those difficult moments where it can feel like everything is falling apart. That’s why you should make the effort to show your partner how much they mean to you.

It’s important that you both feel loved and valued. Otherwise, the broken aspects of your relationship may cause more pain and insecurity than your relationship can handle.

Repairing Broken Relationship: It’s Okay to Reach Out for Help

It’s natural to want to solve our problems by ourselves, but it’s important to keep an open mind about contacting a psychologist. A licensed psychologist that specializes in relationship repair will help facilitate conversation between both parties, offer important observations on the relationship, and help you to find solutions.

Reaching out to a psychologist may seem nerve-wracking, but doing so could be the best decision you ever made for your relationship. If the tips listed above aren’t effective, seeking a professional is likely the most realistic option.

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