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6 Tips for Repairing Broken Relationships
Are you struggling to piece a broken relationship back together? Whether you’ve lost trust or lost that spark, feeling disconnected from someone you love can be devastating. Of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t get your relationship to a healthy and fulfilling place again if you’re willing to do the work.
If both you and your partner are committed to the relationship repair process, you’ll need to be willing to change your behavior. The best way of doing so is by incorporating these essential tips into your current dynamic:
Learn to De-Escalate
Stopping conversations from turning into arguments is an essential aspect of repairing your relationship. You’ll never be able to make progress if you both hold back your feelings out of fear of upsetting each other.
To keep discussions about your relationship from escalating into fights, always be empathetic, don’t interrupt, and be willing to accept and give criticism without becoming defensive. You can also try using humor to keep things light, so long as it’s appropriate and not at your partner’s expense.
Repairing Broken Relationship: Spend Time Together
If all your time together is spent talking about issues in your relationship, you’re bound to lose sight of what you loved about the relationship in the first place. That’s why you should make an effort to spend time together in a deliberate way and focused on things you both enjoy.
This includes fun and fulfilling activities like hiking, watching movies, playing board games, or anything else you share an interest in. This will help you strengthen your friendship, providing a better foundation for your overall relationship.
Find Closure or Move On From Past Issues
Bringing up issues from two or three years ago in the middle of a difficult conversation is not helpful. As tempting as it may be to reference past mistakes to win an argument, all it does is derail your conversation and escalate the situation.
If you and your partner have already discussed this past issue at length and resolved it, it’s better to move on and not bring it up needlessly. If you’re instead bringing up this issue because it’s unresolved and you don’t have any closure from it, then it’s better to have a separate conversation about it. That way, you can fully address this past issue without distracting from the current one.
Be Patient and Forgiving
It’s going to take longer than a few weeks to repair a relationship and change bad habits or behaviors. That being the case, you should both try to be patient with each other and yourselves.
If you expect this process to be short, straightforward, and without any road bumps, you will surely be disappointed. Rebuilding trust and/or re-establishing an emotional connection can be difficult, and it’s normal to make mistakes and face minor setbacks. That’s why you should try your best to be open, forgiving, and patient throughout.
Work as a Team
It can be tempting to shut down and retreat into ourselves when we feel hurt. However, doing so will only make it more difficult for you and your partner to work as a team. You should be turning towards each other during hard times, not away.
Actively trying to work as a team can manifest in different ways, including holding hands, listening intently, and laughing at jokes. In the end, it’s really about making an effort towards establishing intimacy and an emotional connection rather than trying to win arguments or shift blame.
Express Genuine Gratitude
Loving someone and having that person love you back is incredible, even during those difficult moments when it can feel like everything is falling apart. That’s why you should try to show your partner how much they mean to you.
It’s important that you both feel loved and valued. Otherwise, the broken aspects of your relationship may cause more pain and insecurity than your relationship can handle.
Repairing Broken Relationships: It’s Okay to Reach Out for Help
It’s natural to want to solve our problems by ourselves, but it’s important to keep an open mind about contacting a psychologist. A licensed psychologist that specializes in relationship repair will help facilitate conversation between both parties, offer important observations on the relationship, and help you to find solutions.
Reaching out to a psychologist may seem nerve-wracking, but doing so could be the best decision you ever made for your relationship. If the tips listed above aren’t effective, seeking a professional is likely the most realistic option.