Dating Tips To Know by ’30s: Dos and Don’ts
Dating in your 30s feels quite different from dating in your 20s. In your 20s, you are more carefree and feel you have plenty of time to have fun before you settle down.
In your 30s, you aren’t just dating for the sake of dating. More pressure is on you to find someone special, get married, and start a family. This can make dating in your 30s more of a challenge.
You may already have several relationships behind you, and the playing field is narrower, but you also have more life experience. Here are some dating tips for you if you’re in your 30s.
Going on dates is a nerve-wracking experience, and it’s natural to want to put your best foot forward. But remember that trying to impress shouldn’t come at the expense of being yourself. Don’t force yourself into fancy situations and locations for your date if that’s not you – coffee shops are great places for simple and affordable first dates.
Be genuine and try to relax, that’s how you’ll let your personality shine through. Lying about who you are and what you like will only lead to problems in the long run, costing you time that you could’ve been spending with someone who likes you just the way you are.
If you don’t want to mess around with dates that go nowhere in your 30s, you need to be clear about your intentions. Past relationships and bad dates can clarify what you don’t and do want in a partner.
You want to be attracted to a person, but there are certain traits and qualities that matter to you. Focusing on particular traits and qualities can help you to be more selective about the person you choose to date. If you’re clear about your intention to get married on your profile, someone who isn’t looking for that will swipe left.
Today virtual reality allows daters to be fully immersed in an experience and aware of one another’s intentions. This is why VR porn sites are so popular.
Be open to dating someone who isn’t your usual type
If you’ve dated unsuccessfully through your 20s, you could be going for the wrong type. Dating outside your comfort zone can surprise you. If you’ve always gone for the ‘bad’ boys, it could be time to make a change.
The inner qualities you’re looking for could come in a different package than you expect. You may have some surprises if you aren’t put off by how tall or short someone is or their hair color.
Once you’re in your 30s, you may have a few heartbreaks behind you. A partner may have cheated on you, and you may even have been through a divorce. These experiences can help you figure out what you want in a partner.
However, you don’t want your past to blight your present or future. You may accuse your current partner of doing precisely what an ex did to you without any real justification. You may have specific defense mechanisms because of what you went through in the past. You need to let go of the past and focus on the present.
Don’t put a potential partner under pressure
Making your intentions clear is not the same as putting too much pressure on a partner. Women, in particular, often need to settle down because their biological clock is ticking.
They need to take deep breaths and worry less about their age. Finding a life partner doesn’t have an expiration date. Today women often have children later in life or even adopt if they can’t have children. As long as you are clear about what you want and putting yourself out there, you must trust that the right opportunity will present itself.
If you keep searching for the perfect person, you may never have a relationship. Everyone is imperfect in some way. This doesn’t mean you have to settle for someone who isn’t right for you.
If the person doesn’t have the same values as you or doesn’t want children when you do, you could be settling. You shouldn’t settle for someone you don’t love either, just so you don’t end up alone.
Everyone has flaws. You just need to know which ones you can’t live with and which you can compromise on. Certain good qualities may outweigh a few flaws. A woman may have a strong, stubborn streak but also be honest, kind, and supportive. A guy may be hot-headed but passionate about you and fiercely loyal.
Be aware of negative thinking patterns
If you feel that you will probably never meet someone special, your negative thinking could affect how you relate. You need to give the person a fair chance when you meet someone.
Don’t start by thinking this will just be another wrong date in a long line of bad dates. With that kind of attitude, you are likely to be disappointed. Your negative attitude is like a wet blanket that smothers any potential of a spark. You must be positive and encouraging to draw out the best in another person. Abandon that self-fulfilling prophecy that you are doomed never to meet the right person.