5 Important Tips to Maintain a Happy Marriage.
Being happily married is no easy task, and is often too difficult for a lot of couples to achieve. However, if you implement certain habits and tips into your relationship, you can succeed. Here are 5 tips to maintain a happy marriage.
Out of all of the things that could frustrate a marriage, 35% of people say that they fight the most about money. Even if you’re both solid earners with good jobs, maintaining a happy marriage is hard in any economy.
If you find you’re butting heads about money, you can come up with alternate ways to budget. You can pay into a shared account and keep some money for yourself each month. But even if you fix this issue, you need to make sure you don’t end up placing that stress somewhere else in your relationship.
If you want to make sure you maintain a happy marriage through thick and thin, follow these 5 tips.
1. Focus On Communication
One of the first things that you should do to ensure you have a happy marriage is to come up with a plan for your communication. While this might sound strange or tedious, you can avoid a lot of issues if you get right to brass tacks.
Some people want to be asked about their day. Some people would rather hear about your day when they’ve had a hard one. Get to know which kind of person your spouse is.
While some people “prefer not to talk about it” when they’re upset, avoiding hard conversations will build up a lot of tension over time. To better aid communication in your marriage, find other ways to address issues.
Maybe you’ve noticed that your loved one will open up while you’re having an after-work glass of wine or while you’re playing cards. Set the stage for them to communicate with you and you’ll find you’ll have a very happy marriage for years to come.
2. Listen For Triggers
No one wants to feel like they’re not being listened to. When someone says or suggests they don’t like something, make sure not to repeat that mistake again.
Some people don’t like certain pet names or others might need some space after talking to a troubling family member. Make sure you’re aware of the things that trigger anxiety or frustration for your spouse. When they are frustrated, tell them you’re there to listen but never force them to talk.
Other people have various traumas from childhood. It could be that they’ve always been afraid of water after seeing Jaws or heights after a friend broke their arm as a kid. These are reasonable fears that can only be encountered with kindness.
Tell your spouse that you’re always there to listen and if they seem like they want to work on these issues, make sure they know you’re available to help.
3. Ask Follow Up Questions
When your spouse is speaking, are you listening to what they’re saying or just waiting for your turn to speak? If you answered the latter, don’t feel ashamed. It’s very common. Try to find ways to make sure you’re listening. Start by repeating the last thing they said as you understood it.
If they say “I’m upset with my coworker. I feel like they keep taking credit for my work and my boss doesn’t seem to notice.” Start with “How can you tell that your boss doesn’t seem to notice?” Alternately, you could say “What was the project you had to complete that you didn’t get credit for?”
Following up with your spouse is a way to assure them that you’re listening, that their perspective is important, and that you’re present. When you ask a question, you give them the opportunity to speak more. While this might not give you new information, it might allow them some useful venting.
If you have trouble with this, Sam Nabil Counseling Services can help you come up with tactics that will work every time.
4. Make A Date Night
Life can quickly fill up the time we’d prefer to be spending with the ones that we love. If you once bonded over your love for dancing, live music, or art gallery openings, think about the last time you made a date for one. If it takes you longer than a few seconds, it might be time for a date night.
Having a special date night, with no kids, no distractions, and no work emails is an essential component of a happy marriage. It shows that you’ve carved out a special time that only they can occupy.
Your partner shouldn’t be the center of your social life but they’re going to be a key figure in how you wind down.
It doesn’t have to be a fancy dinner every single week. Mix it up with a bowl of popcorn and a movie and then a night bowling with friends the next week. Try new things and make sure that if you have to move that night, you move it to some time before the next date night.
5. Surprise Them
Everyone wants to feel special and like they’re appreciated. While holidays and birthdays are nice, it’s fun to get an unexpected night out, your favorite lunch, or a book by your favorite author when you least expect it. Make some time for little surprises.
You don’t even need to spend money to surprise your loved one. You can wash their car for them, organize a shoe rack that’s they’ve been meaning to get to or take care of some other errand they haven’t had time for.
To make this simple, you can create a schedule for yourself. To ensure that it’s always a surprise, send yourself a reminder or put a note on your calendar at random times to complete these tasks.
If you know your loved one is returning from a long trip for work, get up early and do all of their laundries for them the day after they return.
A Happy Marriage Takes Time
Among all the ways to communicate, a happy marriage also requires that you find new ways to show affection to one another. In every act, try to ensure that your partner feels valued and respected. When you take the time to think of your spouse, it shows.
If you feel like you’ve got some lifestyle changes to make to improve your marriage, check out our guide to living a healthier lifestyle.