6 Reason Divorce Is Good And No That Bad
Although divorce certainly doesn’t conjure up an idyllic image of marriage, it may not be as bad as you think. Understanding no-Fault Divorce and how the new laws can reduce conflict is one of the first steps to appreciating that divorce today doesn’t need to be doom and gloom.
Starting with a fresh slate and becoming financially and emotionally stronger are just some of how your life can improve. We look at the six key ways in which divorce is not as nasty as some would have us believe.
No-fault divorce makes things easier
With no-fault divorce the ‘blame’ aspect is removed. Before the new legal reforms were introduced in April this year, one spouse had to apportion blame for the other’s conduct during the marriage. These grounds for divorce may have been adultery, desertion, or unreasonable behavior, for example. Failing any of these reasons, couples would have to have been living separately for either 2 or 5 years before they could divorce under the previous rules.
The ‘irretrievable breakdown of a marriage is accepted as a reason under the new Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act (2020). The main aim of the Act is to reduce conflict by removing the more potentially confrontational reasons for divorce, supporting a smoother process for all.
Often, divorcing couples have been unhappy for some time before they divorce. This can feel like a long and lonely road. But when they finally get a divorce, a new line is drawn in the sand: a clear path to a unique chance of doing all the things they wanted to, but their partner never did.
All the places, experiences, and things they want to do are now theirs for the taking. It’s a chance to reinvent yourself if you want to and enjoy your own company and newfound independence. New hobbies and interests can lead to further social groups and friends and even more personal growth and happiness opportunities.
A better life for your children
If you have children, then a divorce can offer them a new lease of life too. Living in an unhappy home is not good for children of any age. They are sensitive to their environment and can pick up on their parents’ negative emotions.
Although it may not seem to be what they want initially, divorce often results in happier children. Most would instead be living in two different homes contentedly than one difficult home with conflict and adversity.
Whether your children are young toddlers, school-aged children, or teenagers, they will all be affected by a divorce. Although divorce is disruptive, it will not last forever, and your children will likely benefit in the long run.
Reason divorce is good and no that bad: a chance to find a new love
Although dating and romance are probably not the first things on your agenda when going through a divorce, they can be something to look forward to. Some people want to find love straight away, while others prefer to wait.
Either way, knowing that you have a second chance at finding love can put a different spin on your divorce and offer further hope of happiness in the future. A second relationship following a divorce often means you are more discerning about the choices you make and are more evident on what you want and what you will not accept from a partner. This increases your chances of having a healthier relationship.
Although we are focussing on the positives, divorce can also bring to the surface people who may try to shame you for your marriage ending. Most friends and family are supportive but some can intentionally or otherwise make you feel guilty for getting a divorce. It goes without saying that you do not need this negative influence.
If you do not have a supportive network or social group, then you can seek support through counsellors or therapists who specialize in divorce. These people can often help you focus on things that may have not been apparent to you and provide constructive ways to manage challenging behavior and/or move forwards without these people in your life.
Reason divorce is good and no that bad: you will become stronger and healthier
No one expects a divorce, so it can feel like a complete shock when it happens. On top of this, you may be concerned about the welfare of the children involved, financial issues, and where you will live. It’s a lot. However, like any situation that is challenging, you may not feel it at the time, but when you come out the other side, you will be emotionally stronger.
You will learn many lessons that can help you make good decisions in the future and feel more confident about who you are. Not only this, but you may become physically healthier too.
An unhappy marriage can leave you sad, depressed, and in need of comfort. This can push you towards eating too many wrong foods to make you feel happier. It can also leave you feeling unmotivated to go anywhere, including the gym or getting out with friends.
These unhealthy habits can put you at greater risk of long-lasting conditions in some cases. If you decide to leave your marriage, then these habits will often be left behind, leading you to a more positive way of life.