How To Cope When Dealing With Fertility Problems

Written By Alla Levin
March 11, 2020

How To Cope When Dealing With Fertility Problems

‘You are reproductively challenged.’ Those are four words that no one ever wants to hear. Finding out that you – or your partner – have fertility problems is one of the most difficult and most upsetting things that you may ever face.

It’s far too easy to underestimate just how much of an emotional impact this kind of revelation can have until you actually experience it for yourself. Finding out that you have a fertility problem can make you question everything. Often you blame yourself, wondering whether it’s your fault or whether if you had tried for a baby earlier in life this wouldn’t have happened.

It’s soul-destroying finding out that your body isn’t able to procreate – or may struggle to do so. The important thing is not to bury your head in the sand and pretend that everything is fine; you’re allowed to be upset, angry and frustrated. You have every right to be devastated.

Go with however you’re feeling and don’t try to ignore your emotions as this will just make things far worse. It’s hard to cope with this kind of news but there are steps that you can take and things that you can do to make managing how you’re feeling that little bit easier. 

Don’t be afraid to ventnever manage to get pregnant.

It is completely and utterly unfair that some people get pregnant on their first try and others never manage to get pregnant. It is unfair and you are entitled to feel angry about that, which is why taking the time to vent comes in. 

Finding out that you have a fertility problem can be completely devastating, but talking to a friend or loved one about it can really help. Or, if you would prefer to talk to a therapist, book an appointment with a therapist who specializes in fertility problems. Don’t be afraid to share how you are actually feeling – whatever you feel is completely valid. 

Try and stay positive

It’s important that – regardless of the news you have had – you try and remain as positive as possible. Yes, it’s awful finding out that getting pregnant won’t be as easy for you as everyone else, but that doesn’t mean that you will never have a child.

You do have options, and it’s important to remember that. Try to focus on the routes that you have available to you such as undergoing IVF treatment, for instance.

Or, considering using egg donors at AFCC and either carrying the baby yourself or using a surrogate. If your partner’s sperm is the issue, then you might want to look into sperm donation, for example. Or, if you feel that you wouldn’t be comfortable having a baby that was only genetically one of yours, then perhaps you might want to consider adoption.

Don’t blame your partner when dealing With Fertility Problems

It’s easy to end up bickering with your partner as a result of the news you have had. Yes, it’s upsetting to learn that one of you – or both of you – struggle with fertility problems, but playing the blame game isn’t going to help anyone. Instead, try and focus on making your relationship stronger and moving past your fertility problems, finding a new route to building a family. There you have it, a few useful tips for helping you to cope with the reality of having fertility problems.

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